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30 going on 13, and in the wrong lane

Okay, so here’s what happened. I was channel surfing this weekend and found that my viewing choices boiled down to:

  1. Die Hard 2 – The one where Bruce Willis fights off a bunch of terrorists in an airport
  2. Lizzie McGuire – The Disney TV series, not the movie version

And, put your drink down before you read this otherwise you might spray it all over the place, I chose the latter.

Yeah, I know. Now you see what I mean by being in the wrong lane.

So I sat down and made a list of all those things that seem to indicate that I am turning into a thirteen year old girl. I seem to have a valid defense for each of these things, but when you add it all up, it’s kinda distressing.

And no, before you ask, I do not, do Not, do NOT like Princess Diaries. And I like the sequel even less. I think Anne Hathaway can be quite interesting in a good role, but this isn’t it.

  1. Lizzie McGuire: I don’t like Hilary Duff now, but I think she did have considerable charm when she still had her baby fat. I watch the show once in a while for the same reason that I watch Full House – it’s got a Pleasantville kind of feel to it. Kinda like HAHK for TV.
  2. Kelly Clarkson: I have, on occasion, sung along when her Walk Away plays on the radio. Although, in my defence, the video does involve grown men singing along with an enthusiasm that is entirely inappropriate given their age and plumbing.
  3. Teen rom-coms: I only like some of them, like Say Anything or 10 Things I Hate About You. I have, however, watched a distressingly large number of them, including Pretty in Pink.

So I’m trying to figure out what I could do to act my age and gender. The best idea I’ve come up with so far is to spend an entire day alternating between watching Akira Kurosawa and surfing for porn on the Net. If you have a better suggestion, please do let me know.

ps: Telling me to just give in to the inevitable and start listening to Vanessa Anne Hudgens doesn’t count as a suggestion.

pps: And no smirking about the fact that I actually know who Vanessa Anne Hudgens is either.

ppps: Okay, so it’s 31. At my age, I’m allowed an error term or two.

Ramsu
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10 responses to “30 going on 13, and in the wrong lane”

  1. Pri Avatar
    Pri

    knowing who vanessa hudgens is doesn’t count anymore. not since the photo. but dude lizzie maguire? totally gay.

    Reply
  2. KD Avatar
    KD

    Watch “Holiday” (Not Roman Holiday) 3 times a week, followed by love actually.. same dosage. Oh No those are tips to transform into a 31 year old Woman..

    Let us try again.. Watch Cricket?

    Reply
  3. Ramsu Avatar
    Ramsu

    Pri>> What photo?

    KD>> Cricket’s no longer much of a differentiator, I think. But useful suggestion anyway, thanks. And I did watch both movies you mentioned. Didn’t like Holiday much, but thought Love Actually was fun. Especially the Brit guy who believes that American girls would dig his cute British accent 🙂

    Reply
  4. Atul Avatar
    Atul

    Well, Damsu, you could go to a shanti sagar, order a masala dosa, a chow chow bhath, rava idli and some coffee… and ask the waiter for the calorie content of each of those! Well that would just get you to act your age, not the gender. For the second part, you should just tell him that they have too many calories, that he should take all of that back and just get you ice-cream! 😀

    Reply
  5. Ramsu Avatar
    Ramsu

    Atul>> I’m thinking banana split sundae, with lots of nuts and chocolate sauce.

    Reply
  6. Rajendran Avatar
    Rajendran

    Ramsu – Watch Gunda or better still a tamizh dubbed version of Godzilla.

    I think, I know what you should do – Write a screenplay of a hypothetical film that has jackie chan and jayalalitha in the lead role and jayshankar playing his usual james bond style villian.

    Reply
  7. Rajendran Avatar
    Rajendran

    I hope, I didn’t address you as Inigo Montoya 🙂

    Reply
  8. Pri Avatar
    Pri

    um you’re kidding about the picture right? and im glad you were careful with your response to kd’s comment.

    Reply
  9. Ramsu Avatar
    Ramsu

    Raj>> I like the Jackie Chan suggestion better. Mainly because I’ve already done the other thing. By the way, have you seen this Tamil Western with Jayshankar playing the Man With No Name? Can’t remember the name of this movie, but it was HILARIOUS!

    And, I am almost ashamed to admit, I didn’t get the Inigo Montoya funda. I just know he’s a character in The Princess Bride, not much else.

    Pri>> I wasn’t kidding. But now, thanks to the wonders of the Internet, I know what you’re talking about. And as for KD’s comment, I figured it didn’t make sense to piss off Bengloor girls in the US, so I was careful 🙂

    Reply
  10. (B)old knot Avatar
    (B)old knot

    I watched the titular movie for the first time in a hotel room some two weeks back and (can’t believe I’m actually saying this — and can’t believe I’m repeating this phrase twice this week already!) I thought Jennifer Garner was kinda cute. (Not tomboyish, not overly pouty, not an “oops I forgot my lines, my prompter’s off duty, so let me throw a few extra punches instead” annoying, but simply cute!)

    Now all *I* need is to find me some of that magic wishing dust…but wait. Why bother going back to the 80s when everyone’s saying the 80s are coming back?

    P.S: And oh my! Three different permutations/combinations of the bold “not”? 😀 Pretty impressive.

    Reply

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